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Pac-man: He comes in many forms.
In his original form, he's a little flat yellow disk that eats everything. In
games like Pacmania and Arrangement, he's a yellow SPHERE that eats everything.
In other cases he grows arms and legs and runs around, doing everything from
skateboarding to rescuing princesses to raising a family, either on his own or
with the help of a magical cursor. And in yet another case, he's a scary yellow
alien thing with two legs and blood-red saucer eyes, capable of giving kids
nightmares (really, what WAS that artist at Midway thinking). In any case, we
love him. Actually, I think it's pretty much the first two cases where we love
him; in all the others, he's pretty damned retarted.
Ms. Pac-man: She's also known as Pepper by those who actually remember
the Hanna-Barbera cartoon. Despite her being reduced to the housewife role in
the end, Ms. Pac could be considered an ideal feminist. Pac starred in about 20
different games, and Ms. Pac starred in only one (soon to be two), which
happened to be more successful than every single game Pac has starred in so far.
How's that for girl power?
Baby Pac-man: He was brought to the couple by the stork, which helped
them get around the problem of their complete abscence of sex organs. Despite
being a toddler, Baby had to navigate through both video AND pinball playfields
to escape the ghosts. Life ain't fair sometimes...
Jr. Pac-man: The delinquent child of the Pac family who ran off with one
of the ghosts and was never heard from again. Nowadays when he is brought up,
Pac insists that he was never his son.
Pac Jr.: A weiner who was introduced later on in the Pac family, long
after Baby Pac was introduced, even though he's a bit older. In fact he
apparently got a bit older in his second appearence, while Baby Pac was still a
baby. Strange things are going on in Pac Land. Currently at age 35, Jr. Pac has
no girlfriend and still lives with his parents.
Professor Pac-man: Claims to be smart, yet he starred in one of the worst
videogame flops of mankind. What kind of professor is he?
Super Pac-man: Looks exactly like Pac-man, except he flies, and has
special powers enabling him to eat fruit and doors located several miles below
him. Sometimes he even wears an incredibly gay cape and mask. A lot of people beleive he and Pac-man are one in the same. Other idiots, including the Hanna-Barbera
animation team, do not.
Chomp Chomp: This little blue dog appeared briefly in the American
version of Pac Land, and was never seen again. Apparenty Pac got TOO hungry one
day.
Sour Puss: A little orange cat who may or may not have appeared in the US
version of Pac Land. I'm too lazy to check. He did appear in the cartoon though.
He also has never been seen since. Animals have no place in the Pac community.
Oikake: also known as Akabei, Shadow, Inky, and Urchin. He's fast,
agressive, and he has the smarts, making him the worst enemy Pac has ever had.
Yes, including the ghost witch.
Machibuse: also known as Aosuke, Bashful, Blinky, and Stylist. He likes
to try to trap Pac-man from the other end of the tunnel, supposedly. He appears
cockeyed in Pacmania, either because he was sufferering from brain damage at the
time, or because Namco just wanted to go with the portrayal he had in the H-B
cartoon, for some dumbass reason.
Kimagure: also known as Pinky, Speedy, and Romp. He's slower than Oikake,
but he's nicknamed Speedy anyway. No one said monsters (or the people at Midway)
were very bright.
Otoboke: also known as Guzuta, Pokey, Clyde, and Crybaby. He is one
confused monster.
Sue: A female monster who started out orange, then dyed herself purple so
no one would confuse her with that dink Clyde.
Tim: Clyde's twin brother, who got his three seconds of fame chasing
around Jr. Pac.
Pal: a friendly little monster who tries to help Pac Mac man collect his
stuff from the other monsters, and does a bad job at it.
Yum Yum: a little monster who eloped with Jr. Pac-man. No one's heard
from them since, but we figure they're living a happy life far away from all the
horrible Pac spinoffs that have been released since.
Kinky: a mysterious, shades-toting monster capable of merging with other
monsters, giving them super powers. The tradeoff is that he's a lot more brittle
than the others, capable of being eaten without the help of power pellets.
Jumping Monster: even though Namco never bothered giving him a real name,
Jumping Monster will always remain the most loved character in Pac history. Wait
a minute... no he won't.
The Ghost Witch of Nentor: Since the monsters have had no luck getting
Pac on their own, they decide to serve under this hideous lady. Then, after
chasing him through time, they decided they didn't want to be reminded of having
starred in the worst Pac game in history... plus they remembered they were
actually MONSTERS, not ghosts. Thus, they left her bitch-ass behind.
Mezmeron: This big bald guy does not actually exist. He was the creation
of an uninspired Hanna-Barbera writer (i.e. any of the Hanna-Barbera writers).
Ask Pac, and he'll deny ever having met this "Mezmeron," as he rightfully
should.
Toc-man: A cyborg who wants to get rid of Pac because he's jealous of
him, I beleive. I'd be jealous of a guy who can garner repeated praise and rave
reviews from the same old game over and over for over 20 years too....
Buttercup: A fairy princess who appears in Pac's universe for no apparent
reason. Pac has to rescue her from some evil castle, and I doubt anyone who has
played Pac Land has actually succeeded in helping him do that.
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